some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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