Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
