Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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