Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
