Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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