Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He did a backflip because drugs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize