Need sex. Gaining weight.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
