Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
