I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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