Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
