You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
