HIV tests are more positive than that guy
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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