I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
