you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
