I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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