I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
