How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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