Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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