Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
