So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
