it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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