He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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