I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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