how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
