Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
