Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize