just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
