If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
