fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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