life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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