Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
