My nipple is on Facebook.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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