You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
