Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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