Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
