If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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