I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
