You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
