He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
