I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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