Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize