haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
