ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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