What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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