It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
