I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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