its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
