on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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