the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
