I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
