I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
