So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
