Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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