I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
