morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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