I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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