so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
