I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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