you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
