you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
