party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I need to stop coming to work sober
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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