i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
