Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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