she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
